This is a date that I definitely feel like I need to post on. But it's not an easy post to write.
November 8th was my estimated due date (EDD) for my pregnancy. November 8, 2008 that is.
After the miscarriage one of the things that kept me going was knowing in my heart that I would be pregnant for sure by the time my due date rolled around. That didn't happen. And now here we are another year later and I'm still not pregnant.
Truthfully I don't find this date as depressing as the anniversary of the miscarriage. That was the worst imaginable day of my life. November 8 is just a reminder of what could have been.
I know that for some women their EDD is a really rough time for them. It's not easy for me either, but it's not the end of the world for me either. It's a date I doubt that I will ever forget.
On one hand I feel like I should be grieving more for what I've lost. On the other hand I feel like I need to move on and get past this.
I think that time has definitely helped me heal - as it tends to. But also knowing that we are finally seeing an RE and moving forward is also helping.
So, I don't really know how to write this post. It's hard to commemorate the anniversary of something that didn't happen. But I feel like I need to do something.