Thursday, January 7, 2010

Regrets - I've Had A Few

Okay, who am I kidding? I've had way more than a few regrets in life. There are many moments that I would love a "do-over" for. But this post is about my regrets while trying to conceive and the 2 week wait.

Unfortunately for me, it takes me a long time to get pregnant. That's a lot of time to look back upon and reflect on things. So yes, if I had to do things over there are definitely some things that I would do differently.

For instance:
I would no longer avoid some events because I *might* be pregnant. I have avoided skiing, boating, and even golfing - just in case. In fact, we also stopped planning trips in advance, taking away all of the excitement and anticipation of getting away from it all. It seems that somewhere along the way we stopped living our lives because we were TTC.

I would not look at what my EDD would be at the start of each cycle. This just opens up a big can of false hope. You know the kind - I see that my EDD is in November and then I start to picture what my life will be like for the rest of the year - the summer weddings with a baby bump, shopping for new clothes for my growing belly, figuring out when my last day of work will be, etc. When AF shows at the end of each cycle all those dreams just fly right out the window!

And I would definitely not avoid buying new clothes! This is really pragmatic of me. You see there's no sense in buying a new pair of pants, because obviously I'm going to get my BFP this cycle and then they won't fit in a few months. What a waste! However the results of being pragmatic means that I hate everything in my closet!

I would not have bought a fertility monitor. At least not the one that I did. There's really nothing wrong with it, but it gets pretty pricey buying all of the test sticks over and over. Instead I would have bought an Ovacue monitor. And I wouldn't have waited until we had been TTC for nearly a year to buy it. Do you have any idea how much I have spent along the way on OPKs and test sticks? It's a good thing I haven't bought new clothes in nearly 2 years!

Well, that's all that comes to mind at the moment. What are some of your regrets? Come on, I know you have some. Let's all share!

Edited to Add:
This is a big regret that I forgot about when I originally wrote this post. I regret not finding a new job. Or I should say I regret not looking for a new job. When I had my miscarriage I really lost my mojo at work. But let's face it, back then the economy was booming! I work on commission so I was earning lots of money. It's a lot easier to stay at a job that you're not 100% happy with when you're making good money. Plus, even when you're not happy at work, you can tough it out for nine more months. When I realized that I really should move on, the economy had changed. It was a bad time to change jobs. Plus I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.


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