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Saturday, February 27, 2010

99 Things


You've heard of the "Bucket List", this is similar. Someone wrote up 99 things to do before you die and it's been going around the internet. I found it on Holly's blog. Now it's my turn.

Bold the things that you've done...
1.
Started your own blog - well duh.
2.
Slept under the stars - yes twice at summer camp
3. Played in a band - Maybe I will if someone teaches me the "triangle"

4.
Visited Hawaii - not yet.
5.
Watched a meteor shower - Yup, every August if the skies are clear I try to sneak a peak at the meteor shower.
6.
Given more than you can afford to charity - I guess technically I could afford it since I'm still here and I'm not bankrupt.
7.
Been to DisneyWorld - I've been to DisneyLand and I've been near DisneyWorld
8.
Climbed a mountain - Not with ropes and crimpers, but on easy hiking trails. It still counts.
9.
Held a praying mantis - I don't think I've ever even seen a praying mantis.

10.
Sang a solo - Nope.

11.
Bungee jumped - Nope

12.
Visited Paris - Yes, twice actually.
13.
Watched a lightning storm - Of course! I grew up on the prairies!
14.
Taught yourself an art from scratch - If crocheting counts then yes
15. Adopted a child - We've adopted cats.

16.
Had food poisoning - unfortunately.
17.
Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - I've never been to New York

18.
Grown your own vegetables - I grow a tomato plant every year and I try to grow herbs too.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - I've only seen the outside of the Louvre. It was closed that day.

20. Slept on an overnight train - I vaguely recall doing this as a child
21.
Had a pillow fight - Who hasn't?
22. Hitch hiked - never! This really shouldn't be on the list.
23.
Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Okay I'll admit it. I did this once. Shame on me!
24. Built a snow fort - Of course. I grew up on the prairies remember?

25.
Held a lamb - I know I've held a goat so I'm counting this.
26.
Gone skinny dipping - Not that I can recall
27. Run a Marathon - Ha! Ha! Ha! That's a good one! Stop it, you're killing me!

28.
Ridden in a gondola in Venice - I saw the gondolas at the Venetian in Las Vegas

29. Seen a total eclipse - I remember one when I was really, really young.

30.
Watched a sunrise or sunset - who hasn't?

31.
Hit a home run - I think that's highly unlikely - unless we're counting video games.

32.
Been on a cruise - 2. One was not so good, the other was awesome.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person -Nope

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - I've been to France & England, but not Sweden, Germany, Ireland, etc.

35. Seen an Amish community - No, but I've seen several Hutterite communities.

36.
Taught yourself a new language - I already speak French and I've been dabbling in learning Spanish for a while. It sure helps a lot when traveling.

37.
Had enough money to be truly satisfied - It's nice to be comfortable, however that doesn't stop me from buying the occasional lottery ticket.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - I haven't been to Italy yet.

39.
Gone rock climbing - Nope

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
- In photos yes.
41.
Sung karaoke - Once, I had drunk a lot that night.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
- I think I may have when I was really young when we were on a road trip to Colorado
43.
Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
- I don't think that I've ever even bought a stranger a drink.
44. Visited Africa -
not yet.
45.
Walked on a beach by moonlight - for sure
46.
Been transported in an ambulance - thankfully no

47. Had your portrait painted - yes, by my art teacher

48.
Gone deep sea fishing - Nope, not really interested

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - nope, I've never been to Italy or Vatican City.

50.
Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - Yes, both the real one and the one in Vegas
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - I had a scuba lesson in Cuba, but we were never able to go out.
52. Kissed in the rain - probably
53. Played in the mud - Absolutely
54.
Gone to a drive-in theater - Plenty of times.
55.
Been in a movie - No, but I was in a beer commercial once

56. Visited the Great Wall of China - Not yet
57. Started a business
- No
58.
Taken a martial arts class - I was going to say no when I remembered that I took Tai Chi

59. Visited Russia - Not yet.

60. Served at a soup kitchen - not yet

61.
Sold Girl Scout Cookies - Way too many times. And when I was a girl we did it door to door. There was no setting up a table in the mall.

62.
Gone whale watching - no
63.
Got flowers for no reason - I think that once before we were married I got some
64.
Donated blood, platelets or plasma - several times
65. Gone sky diving - Nope
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - No

67.
Bounced a cheque - Never
68. Flown in a helicopter -
Not yet
69.
Saved a favorite childhood toy - I have a few

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - I've never been to DC

71.
Eaten Caviar -
Yes, it was very salty
72.
Pieced a quilt - nope, I don't sew often
73.
Stood in Times Square - Remember, I haven't been to NYC

74.
Toured the Everglades - I flew over them does that count?

75. Been fired from a job -
Unfortunately yes. Apparently I didn't have "enough spunk". They suck
76.
Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - I never even saw the guards when we were there
77. Broken a bone - Just a finger thankfully
78.
Been a passenger on a motorcycle - Nope
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - Not yet

80. Published a book -
nope
81.
Visited the Vatican
- I haven't been to Italy or Vatican City remember
82. Bought a brand new car - Yes. I love it!

83. Walked in Jerusalem - Nope

84.
Had your picture in the newspaper - I had my photo in a magazine when I was in University.
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve - Mom! Stop reading! Just once. It's highly overrated.
86. Visited the White House - No - remember I haven't been to DC
87.
Killed and prepared an animal for eating - Nope
88.
Had chickenpox - Yes, I still have a rash phobia
89.
Saved someone’s life - yes, 'cause I used to give blood. I'm also a registered bone marrow donor.

90. Sat on a jury - Nope, and I don't know why. I'm very impartial

91.
Met someone famous - I've met several NHL players.
92. Joined a book club - I was going to but they don't always read books that I want to read.
93.
Got a tattoo - We all know that I have! In fact I have 3.
94.
Had a baby - Nope
95. Seen the Alamo in person - Nope

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - Nope - I flew over it.

97. Been involved in a law suit - Sort of. Uhaul tried to sue us for not returning a truck, thankfully I had all the paperwork that proved that we did.
98.
Owned a cell phone - Duh - yes.
99. Been stung by a bee - When I was a kid. Not for a long time.

By my count that's 50/99. How about you?




Thursday, February 25, 2010

No Turning Back

Yesterday I went to the Fertility Clinic to pick up my meds and to pay for our IVF cycle. This is as real as it gets. And I'm starting to freak out! There's so much to remember.


First off I have to take the Suprefact nasal spray 5 times a day starting on March 4th. The Suprefact is to suppress ovulation. They are very precise on what time(s) of the day to take it. Does this mean that I can no longer enjoy a sleep in or two on the weekend?

The nasal spray I'm good with - bring it on. Pills are not a problem for me either. But self injections??? Yikes! I'm getting woozy at the thought.

I know that most women have their husbands do the deed. But when I think of that I have images of the shower scene from Psycho. Wree! Wree! Wree! I can actually picture Hubby coming at me with the needle making a stabbing motion. I think that he may actually enjoy it and that frightens me. In fact, when I showed Hubby my meds last night, the look on his face was one of excited anticipation. I'm telling you ~ this is not going to be fun. And if it's not fun for me, it will not be fun for him!

Where was I going with this? Oh right, I'm starting to freak out. There are so many little details and steps to remember I'm worried that I will forget one (or ten). I know that I could get myself all worked up about it if I let myself. So I'm not going to let myself!

I've put my IVF paraphernalia away for now. I've promised myself that I won't look at any of it again until the weekend. No really, I meant it!



PS - I've been asking Hubby to do a guest post but he's really hard to convince.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - Cable's Out!



Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Keeping It Real

I've been blog surfing. I kind of like it. It's like taking a walk at nighttime and peering in the windows of the houses that have the lights on and the shades open as you go by. You get a glimpse into someone else's life.


I somehow found my way over to Travellin' Oma's blog. In it she wrote an thought provoking post (complete with homework) on whether or not bloggers are really showing the world their true selves or if we're only showing our best side.

Other than being anonymous, I think I've kept it pretty real. You've all seen my tattoo. Heck, you're pretty much the only ones who know about this one.

You know what my in-laws reaction to us seeking fertility treatments is.

You know all about my menstrual cycles (something that Hubby still doesn't want to hear about).

And you know why I call myself the "Pregnant Yuppy" when I'm clearly not pregnant.

When you read my blog I hope that you feel as welcome as a dear friend who walks in without knocking. One who knows where I keep the coffee and cookies and helps herself before sitting down on the couch and putting her feet on the coffee table.

I'm glad that you stop by for a visit. It really makes my day.


Monday, February 22, 2010

I'm a Bookworm

Recently at work I won a sales contest. Yes, it's true, I'm that good at what I do for a living. My prize was a $50 gift card to Chapters. This thrilled me. I love to read. I can easily go through a book a week. 2 if they're really exciting. So I could hardly wait to be able to go and spend my prize.


On Friday I headed out to the mall to find a book or two on IVF so I could be prepared on what we can expect in the coming few weeks. There were 3 sections of books on pregnancy and parenting. There was 1 shelf devoted to infertility. There was exactly zero books on IVF.

Now at this point I was pretty sure that there had to have been books written about IVF. Let's face it, it's a pretty common procedure these days. I headed to the store computer to do a search. Oh there are books written on IVF alright - but I would have to special order them!

Hello? What kind of crap is that? My IVF cycle will be starting in 9 days (as of today) and I don't want to wait. I was sorely disappointed in my trip to the bookstore. I left with nothing but my intact gift card and hurt pride. Well maybe not hurt pride. A little ticked off would be more precise.

While I didn't find what I was looking for at Chapters, Amazon came through for me again! I love Amazon and wish that we could get more than books and DVDs from it in Canada. (If any Amazon employees are reading this please take note!)

I ordered 3 books:

Baby Steps: A Bloke's-Eye View of IVF by: Jason Davis (This one I ordered for Hubby)

The Couple's Guide To In Vitro Fertilization: Everything You Need To Know To Maximize Your Chances Of Success by: Liza Charlesworth

Ivf: The Wayward Stork: What to Expect, Who to Expect It From, and Surviving It All. by: Sarah A. Tursi

And now I wait. 4 - 6 business days before I can immerse myself in these books (well, 1 is for Hubby, but I'm sure that I'll read it too).

Darn you Chapters for making me wait!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

An Effort to Fit in With the Fertile

In an effort to fit in, I'm making my SUV look just like the other SUV's on the street:

Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

I am wearing a crown because I am a princess. I felt it only right to have the cats flanking the family, since they are are always keeping an eye on what we are doing. And that's our Angel in the middle. Of course now that I look at it, it looks like Hubby is wearing a skirt and that we're both workaholics. Too bad there wasn't a couch potato design.

I have to send a shout out to Mo for the idea. I always wondered where the fertile got these things.

If you want to create one of these click here.

P.S. - I'm sorry that it got cut off. Maybe when I reach 100 followers I'll pay for a new blog design that will give me a wider column!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Memorial Tattoo

I apologize for the photo quality. It's really hard to take a photo of yourself while trying to 1 - hold up your shirt and 2 - prevent a nip slip!


As you know I had a miscarriage nearly 2 years ago. It was a horrible experience both physically and psychologically. I don't know of anyone who has had a miscarriage who ever forgets about it. I'm sure that I will always wonder about the child that might have been when certain dates roll around - like my loss date and estimated due date.

That being said, the pain of the loss has certainly diminished with time. My body has long since healed and I'm more open to discussing our loss than I ever was before. But I don't want to forget about our baby.

I'm a big fan of tattoos. Even as a child when tattoos were only for bikers and sailors, I really loved them. I would be fascinated when I saw someone on the beach with tattoos. I always wanted to get a tattoo, but I want my tattoos to be meaningful.

After designing this tattoo months ago I finally decided it was time. I'd put it off for so long while TTC. So this past cycle when AF showed I just did it. I went to the shop and booked my memorial tattoo for the following week. Then I waited a long week for the day to come.

That day was yesterday.

This is not my first tattoo. I have 2 others. All are on my torso so I can hide them if I want to. I don't get tattooed for others but for me. I thought that this one would look good on my side just under my bra strap. And I was right. But EOWCH! Getting your ribs tattooed is not a pleasant experience! Ow! Ow! Ow!

But I'm a trooper and I laid there as still as I could so she could finish faster. And behold! Here is my memorial tattoo for our angel:




Friday, February 19, 2010

2nd IUI Cancelled!


Thursday was a blur for me. It started out like any normal day. I went to work, I did some work, I snuck on Twitter once or twice; you know, same old, same old. But that all changed after lunch.


I had to take an early lunch 'cause I booked a client meeting for 1pm. I always turn my phone on "do not disturb" when I'm eating. I feel that I deserve a half an hour a day when I shouldn't have to run when the phone rings. So when I'm done eating and I get back to my desk there was a message. But get this: the message was from the fertility clinic. The nurse said to call her back today after 1pm.

Okay so it's about 12:10pm. I have a client meeting at 1pm so there's no way that I can call her until about 2pm. That leaves me over an hour and half to wonder what the heck is going on!! I am not patient enough for this!

So I call her as soon as I can and she said "how anxious are you to do IVF?" So I'm thinking that this has to be a joke 'cause didn't you just tell me last week that I have to be Clomid free for 2 months before we can consider IVF?

I mention that I took Clomid for my December and January cycles. So she does a little figuring and said that the dates should work out. If we want to, we can start the IVF process in March!

Seriously? March?

So I spoke to Hubby and we're doing it! Yikes!

Here's our tentative plan:
- March 4th start taking Superfact
- March 16th - Baseline ultrasound and start on injectible drugs
- March 19th - go in every other day for bloodwork and ultrasound
- April 1st - tentative egg retrieval
- April 4 - 6th - tentative embryo transfer.

Wish us luck!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Points to Ponder



In my other life I work in HR. I follow a lot of HR blogs at work. Punk Rock HR is one of my favourites. On Monday she wrote a great post that I thought you would also enjoy. I believe that the original can be found at Ruminations.com. Enjoy!
  • I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
  • There is great need for a sarcasm font.
  • How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  • Was learning cursive really necessary?
  • Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  • I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
  • Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
  • I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — ever.
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  • I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call…
  • My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad/Mom what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the do I respond to that?
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  • I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
What else?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - I've been TTC for 23 months and all I got was this damn t-shirt!



Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Decision!

If you remember in a couple of my previous posts (here and here) I've been trying to think of something to give up for Lent. Well today is Mardi Gras and while I'm sitting here waiting for Hubby to come home so we can make pancakes, I've made a decision.


I'm going to give up drinking pop for 40 days. This was a hard decision to make and I'm happy with it. Sure I probably won't be too happy at noon tomorrow when I'm jonesing for my fizzy fix. Hopefully with a bit of time I'll get over it.

So to my favourite doctor - Dr. Pepper of course - I will miss you . It's nothing that you did. It's not you, it's me. I think we need to spend a little time apart, just for a little while. I'll see you again at Easter.

Plan for Cycle #23


I think that I hit the lowest of lows this past week. Starting last Tuesday when my temperature started to fall, so did my mood. I was in a funk until my period arrived on Thursday, since then I've been in a depression.

Yes, it's upsetting when a cycle ends, and yes this was not my first busted cycle, so maybe it should be par for the course for me. And that is why it hit me so hard. I don't handle failure well and to fail 22 times in a row is so hard on the emotions.

Albert Einstein once defined "insanity" as: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

That's what we did while TTC for 20 cycles - the same thing, planned intercourse around ovulation. So in December I started taking 100mg of Clomid on Cycle Days 3 - 7. We were out of town so we weren't able to plan for an IUI that cycle. That cycle ended in a BFN (Big Fat Negative).

Onto Cycle # 22. This time we were through messing around. The Clomid was back again this cycle, and this time we were going to do an IUI. We followed all instructions and it seemed that everything was perfectly timed. I kept charting during the 2WW (two week wait) and everything was going great. My body was definitely showing some early pregnancy signs - more than usual (tender breasts, constipation, congestion). Even Fertility Friend gave me an "early pregnancy signs" estimator score of 85! How could I not be pregnant when all the signs were there?

Well, I'm not. Still.

So here I am on cycle day 4 and quite frankly I don't give a shit about TTC anymore. I'm sick of living my life on a schedule. I'm sick of Hubby and I looking at the calendar each month to plan what days we'll have sex on. I'm sick of spending money on ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) and sperm friendly lubricants. I'm sick of avoiding certain foods. I'm sick of it all!

I think before when we first put our names on the IVF list I was okay with it because I was positive that we would get pregnant without it. Now I'm positive that IVF may be our only hope. I wish that we could take more time to get used to the idea but let's face it, time is something that we don't have a lot of.

Don't worry - I'm not giving up - I'm just stepping back from TTC. I will not be charting this cycle. There's no point in adding that stress in my life. I'm also not going to see Dr. A my naturopath. I think he's great but my insurance will only cover $500 a year and I want to save up my coverage for later. We're not doing Clomid either because apparently, I have to be Clomid-free for 2 months prior to IVF.

We will still use OPKs and we are going to try another IUI. But otherwise that's it! I mean it!


Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Birthday Hubby!!


Today is Hubby's birthday. It's the big 3-8. Yup, Hubby is 38 today. Wow, thirty-eight. I mean that's only 2 years from 40. I think that he's now officially "middle-aged" now.


Should I be worried that he'll have some sort of crisis? Is he going to trade me in for a younger woman or get a sports car? Will he start wearing black socks with his sandals now? Will the waistband on his pants start to creep up on his chest?

Is he going to start predicting rain 'cause his bones will be achy? Is he going to start conversations with "I remember back when I was your age..."?

Worse - will he be able to use any new technology that comes out now? Will the clock on his cell phone blink 12:00 forever? Who is going to fix my Wii when something screws up? Who will reset the PVR when the guide gets all screwy?

OMG! - maybe I should trade him in for a younger man!

Just Kidding! Happy Birthday Hubby! Sorry that your cake didn't quite turn out again this year. At least I tried.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm an amateur photographer. I really enjoy taking photos and will look for "pretty" things to capture. A few months ago I learned the hard way not to put more than one fire log into the fireplace at one time. When you do, you get a raging fire! As I watched this super hot, raging fire burn all of the soot off the fireplace door I thought it would be neat to take a photo.

So I grabbed my camera and snapped about 10 photos. I've always been fascinated by fire (not in an arsonist - start fires to watch them burn kind of way). When I watch fire it's almost like watching something that's alive. I wanted to see if I could capture the essence of the fire.


So I snapped the photos and showed them to Hubby after I uploaded them onto my laptop. He really liked them. And so, an idea formed...

I thought that it would be nice to print some of the photos and frame them for him to put into his office. At first I printed 3 - 8x10's in full colour. But then I couldn't find a frame. The only suitable frame that I could find held 4 - 8x10's. Then I had the brilliant idea to print one in black and white for a little contrast.

I was so excited to give Hubby my Valentine's Day gift. I was so proud of my idea! I didn't wrap the gift as the frame was rather large. So I put it in the dining room and I went to the kitchen to find a pen (I hadn't yet signed the card that I got him). As I'm in the kitchen writing my "I love you's" on his card I hear him exclaim loudly: "oh no!" That was so not the reaction that I had expected!

It turns out that Hubby was going to get these photos professionally framed for my birthday next month! So, while he liked my gift to him, he now has to figure out something else to get me for my birthday!


If you're wondering what Hubby got me for my Valentine's Day gift - so am I. He says that he has to go and pick it up. He did offer to tell me what it is, but I declined.



Saturday, February 13, 2010

Never Say "Never"

I've heard that parents hate it when us non-parents say things like "when I have kids I will never let them have a temper tantrum in the mall" or "when I'm a mom I will not let my kids walk around with dirt on his face" or even "when I'm a mom my main focus will always be my kids".


I guess your priorities may change once you become a parent. I understand that you are rather sleep deprived so maybe you stop caring about whether or not your kids' clothes are clean or if they're crying as you push the stroller through the mall.

I know that as an Infertile I certainly can do without the unsolicited advice and I'm sure that parents don't appreciate it either.

And maybe, just maybe things will change when we have a child. Maybe my priorities will change from making sure that everyone's noses are wiped to making sure that they are well fed and happy.

Even so, no matter how things change for me, I will never, ever, EVER be too busy texting or tweeting to hold my newborn!



Thanks to Failblog for another great example of "these people can procreate but I can't?"


Friday, February 12, 2010

Crap!



If you haven't already noticed on my chart at the top of my blog, my first IUI cycle was a bust. And so we begin cycle # 23 of TTC.

This cycle really hit me hard. It's been 2 years since we conceived our Angel (on Hubby's birthday). Things just haven't worked out very much for us since then. We weren't supposed to lose our baby, but we did. I should have been pregnant again by the time my due date rolled around, but I wasn't. I certainly should have been pregnant again before my birthday, nope that didn't work out either. Obviously I should have been pregnant before the one year mark after our loss, still no dice. And then we repeat another year. Still TTC, now with medical help, and still not pregnant.

If there's anything that I've learned through all this is that getting pregnant is a crap shoot. Sometimes you roll a 7, sometimes snake eyes. And of course, the House always wins.

Our plan for Cycle #23 is the same as for #22 - 100mg of Clomid on cycle days 3 - 7 (hooray more hot flashes) and an IUI. I'm not feeling as excited as I was the last cycle. In fact I considered skipping everything TTC related this cycle just for a break - maybe I still will. I'm not going to make any big decisions until I'm out of my failed cycle funk.

PS - I spoke the IUI nurse this morning. Did you know that you have to be off Clomid for 2 months prior to doing IVF? Neither did I. So we have a new plan this cycle. We're going to do an un-medicated IUI.


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Lent - Part 2



Okay, I've had a day to think about it and I've come up with 2 really good things to potentially give up:
  1. Lying. For the record I am an inherently honest person. However the other day at the office my co-worker asked me if her wearing blue tights made her look like a smurf. I smiled and said "no". *Technically* I didn't lie because I didn't think she looked "like smurf" (she would have needed a floppy white hat too), but it didn't look great. And when someone asked me the other day why I was in a grumpy mood I *technically* didn't lie when I said "stuff going on at home" - however the actual honest answer would have been "because my temperature dropped again today so that means that I'm probably not pregnant AGAIN, and I'm not getting any younger and the longer this takes the more money it's going to cost and I'M JUST SICK OF IT". So you see, I'm fairly honest, but not entirely.

  2. Video Games - specifically Bejewelled Blitz on Facebook. You could never call me a gamer, but I am competitive. If I see that my uncle or cousin, or mother has a higher score than me, I will play endlessly until I beat their score. I've gone to bed with the screen image burned into my mind and that's all that I can see when I close my eyes. Plus my wrist tends to get sore the more I play. There are definitely some benefits to giving this one up.

So there you have it - 2 more options. I'm still torn. What should I choose to live without for the next 6 weeks?



Lent & Mardi Gras


I'm trying to figure out what I should give up for Lent. I'm not Catholic or anything, I've just always admired the idea of bettering yourself by giving up something that you enjoy. I also love that the personal sacrifice starts and ends with a party (Mardi Gras / Easter).

So Lent officially begins on Ash Wednesday (Feb. 17th this year). That means that Mardi Gras is on Feb. 16th. Mardi Gras is most famous in New Orleans. I imagine that the celebration this year will be a little subdued because of the Super Bowl - Ha ha! Just kidding, I'll bet that the party this year will be so kick ass that they'll hear it in Mississippi! Hubby once promised to take me to Mardi Gras before I turned 30 - but that didn't happen. (I know I'm starting to get a little off topic - but trust me on this one I'll get back on track in a moment.)

When I was in grade 12 my French teacher thought that it would be a great idea for the class to go for pancakes on Mardi Gras (also known by some as Pancake Tuesday). We had French in first period and we were a relatively small group. So we met extra early at a restaurant and had a wonderful time! She even cleared it with our 2nd period teachers to forgive us if we arrived late. I really enjoyed that class and I'm glad that she would do fun things with us from time to time.

Ever since then I have tried to have pancakes or waffles on Mardi Gras. So guess what we will be having for dinner on Tuesday? Not waffles, Hubby broke the waffle iron a couple of months ago. But I guess that pancakes will do. Nice fluffy pancakes with Saskatoon berries in them or with a strawberry compote and whipped cream. Mmmmm.

So back to my original post thought - Lent. Again, not Catholic - just trying to better myself in a non-denominational, secular kind of way. What should I give up for 6 weeks? What is so important in my life that to give it up will be a true sacrifice?

Here's what I've come up with so far:
  • TTC - Yes - you read that right - I could give up trying to conceive. Of course I don't think that it would truly be a "sacrifice" to stop taking my temperature at 5:30 am each day, buying expensive OPKs, getting Hubby to perform "on demand", or to stop paying large sums of money to the Fertility Clinic. - Okay, that one's out.
  • Wine - I hardly drink anymore that it wouldn't be much of a sacrifice - another out.
  • Dr. Pepper - this could be interesting. I am a Pepper. I love the stuff. But, I don't drink a lot of it, only when the craving really hits me then nothing else will do. I could give it up, but for 6 weeks that would only be about 12 cans of pop. - Let's keep this one in mind in case nothing else comes up.
  • Blogging - It's something that I do everyday. Giving it up would be a form of a sacrifice - however each of you would be the ones who truly suffer. - I guess this one's out too.
  • Watching T.V. - Ooh, this one has merit. I really enjoy watching t.v. Maybe too much. I don't think that I could do it though I really don't. I would try and then I would find loopholes (if I watch it online it's technically not "on t.v.") and eventually (like within a week) I would be back at it. - I guess I could not "give it up" but "limit" my viewing. Does this count??
  • Hard drugs - oh wait, I don't do that, never mind.
  • Shopping - Since we are already pinching pennies to pay for IVF I'm already sacrificing on this one! Do you think that would count?
This isn't as easy as it sounds is it? I don't smoke or bite my nails or anything, I try to eat well, I just don't have a lot of bad habits. I used to buy a coffee nearly every morning, but I stopped that 2 years ago when I was pregnant.

I'm running out of time. This didn't used to be so hard. Ideas are welcome!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - Go Canada!


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

IVF and the In-laws


My in-laws own a condo in Mexico where they spend the winter months. Let's face it - I love Canada but the prairie winters can be a little harsh at times!


Thanks to the miracle of the internet, we are able to easily stay in touch via e-mail and Skype. The other day was my mother in-law's birthday and we were video chatting with them. They asked if we were planning to visit them in Mexico this winter. Hubby took the advice from the fertility clinic's counsellor and dropped the IVF bomb.

They took it very well. I explained that the cost of IVF can be between $10,000 - $12,000 so we are saving our money for that and most likely will not be going to Mexico this year. All in all the talk went well, right up to the point where my Mother in-law said "I'm sure it would be cheaper to adopt".

Wow! Where did that come from? Adoption is great, but it's not for everyone. And it's not a simple process either. Plus, I have done some research and it's not free. I said to her "actually the adoption process is very similar in costs to IVF". She replied "well you don't have to adopt from a foreign country".

At this point I'm thinking that if you don't know anything about a topic, keep your mouth shut. Quite truthfully, adoption is expensive wether you do domestic or foreign. Which is a shame as there are so many children who need homes and adoption is cost-prohibitive for so many couples.

So I left the conversation before I said something that I couldn't take back. Adoption is not an alternative to IVF. While many couples may pursue both, many others will pursue neither. For us - I don't know where adoption fits.

Sigh, I wonder how the IVF conversation will go with my parents. I really hope that our IUI worked so we won't have to go there!

Monday, February 8, 2010

IVF Orientation Details

I'm sure that it is standard practice for most fertility clinics to hold an IVF (in-vitro fertilization) information session for potential patients. For the past 2 years I have been very active online following various message boards and blogs - so I figured that by now I know a lot about the procedure. Hubby wasn't very interested in attending either. But, this is the first step of the process so we had to go!


In my head I had pictured it in a small classroom with maybe 10 other couples there. Our clinic holds these sessions every 2 weeks so how big could it be? It turns out there was about 50 couples there and it was held in a lecture hall at the hospital. It reminded me a lot of being in university except that no one was really talking to each other!

The Doctor said that at least half of the attendees were from out of town. It turns out that our clinic has the highest pregnancy rates in all of Canada!

We heard first from the Doctor about the procedure itself and what would be involved and the costs. Then we heard from the pharmacist about the drugs and the side effects and the costs. Then we heard from the clinic counsellor - it turns out that infertility can be a stressful experience (really? No kidding? Why is this the first that I am hearing about that?).

The counsellor urged each of us to tell our friends and family so that they understand what it is that we are going through. Hubby did tell his parents (I may write about that later), mine are on vacation so I will wait to tell them (but I'm still hopeful that my IUI worked and I won't have to).

All in all the experience was okay. I didn't learn anything new, but Hubby did. I'm hopeful that if we have to go through this (and I'm still hoping that the IUI worked and we won't have to) that he will be patient with what I have to go through.

Now what? Now, we wait. At the start of each cycle I still need to call into the clinic's "period hotline". Hopefully we will move up the waiting list quickly. I'm still holding out hope that we won't have to use IVF. It's great that we live in a time where IVF is available, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my IUI worked!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Beautiful Blogger!

Wow! Thanks so much to Dana from Except for Mondays for this award. I really appreciate it.


7 Interesting Things About Me:
  1. I am fluent in French. Oui, c'est vrai! Je parle Francais!
  2. Although I do have a full time job with a recruiting company, I also work part time as a Promotional Assistant with Elizabeth Arden cosmetics. Don't tell my boss - but I really do it more for the freebie products than for the paycheque! - Shhh.
  3. The only sport that I was ever good at was Equestrian Show Jumping. I spend a lot of years grooming horses and mucking out stalls as a teenager. The only reason I gave it up is because I couldn't afford to continue and to pay for university tuition.
  4. I can be very judgmental sometimes. If you're going to do something really stupid - I'll probably tell you to your face what a dumb idea it is. Some people like this, most don't.
  5. I do not work out. As previously mentioned I'm not very athletic and I've never enjoyed going to the gym.
  6. I do all of our household finances including bill paying and our income taxes. Not that Hubby isn't capable, I'm just a Type A person who likes the control!
  7. The thought of being a parent sometimes scares the crap out of me!
Now I need to nominate 7 other Bloggers for this same award.
Here's what you need to do:
- Thank the person who nominated you and copy the award into your blog
- Link to the person who nominated you for this award
- Share 7 interesting things about yourself
- Nominate 7 fellow bloggers and put their links in your post. Leave a comment on their blogs to let them know that they've been nominated.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Dream Interpretation Please!


I had a weird dream this morning. Weird dreams are nothing new to me, I often have very vivid dreams. In fact I got my second tattoo the day after dreaming about it.


So, this morning I dreamed that I was walking and talking with my RE as we walked to our cars in the parking lot at the hospital. In it she basically said that my left ovary was crap and that if I was going to get pregnant then my right ovary would have to work extra hard. She then touched my stomach where my right ovary is and said "see, does this hurt, it's your ovary". Then she kind of dismissed me by saying that it was time to go to my car.

I also vividly remember looking around the parking lot for car and pushing my key fob to unlock it. It was a sunny day, but it was winter as there was snow on the ground.

So, what the heck do you think this means??

Thursday, February 4, 2010

A New Attitude?

I once cut this cartoon out and sent it to my mom. She stopped pestering me for grandbabies shortly after.

There is some logic to it though if you think about it:

  • No fertility costs (unless you count spaying and/or neutering of the cats)
  • They don't need a sitter if you want to go to the movies
  • They don't need to go to college
  • They (probably) won't trash your house when they are teenagers
  • They'll never borrow your car (in fact, they hate the car)
  • You'll still be able to shower love and affection on them - even when they're all grown up!

Hmm, maybe Hubby & I need to think about this whole plan to be parents...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - The 2 Week Wait

Monday, February 1, 2010

More IUI Humour


I've had this same thought several times - but I don't play Farmville!

My Chart

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