Thursday, April 15, 2010

Identity Crisis

While I'm thrilled beyond words to finally be living up to my blog's name, I'm having a sort of identity crisis right now. I started this blog in 2008 to record my thoughts during my first pregnancy. Well, we all know that didn't go well. Then I abandoned the blog for a long time (mostly because I forgot my login information), and when I started blogging again it was all about TTC and infertility.

I've really come to enjoy all of my followers and your comments and I look forward to reading each and every one of them. But I know that so many of you are also experiencing infertility and I know from my own experience, that you don't always want to read about someone else's pregnancy.

Plus, I'm also terrified that I will lose this baby as well. Can you blame me - up until now I'm oh for one for successful pregnancies.

I'm not sure if I will 100% accept this pregnancy as being real until I can either see the heartbeat on an ultrasound or hear it. Preferably both.

Until then I'm in blogger limbo. I hope that you will all stick around and see me through these times. I also hope that you will all be joining me in getting your long-awaited and much deserved BFP!


Jin said...

Congrats on your pregnancy! I know what you mean about being in limbo about what to blog about and what not to blog about. Maybe alternate your posts to be pregnancy one day and everyday stuff another day? I've been doing that on my blog and so far it seems to be working for the past 5 weeks or so.

Hope this baby sticks for you!

Alex said...

From a follower's perspective, not a prego girl (again, so excited for you!!!), I personally choose not to actively follow most blogs that I discover, and they're already pregnant. But in my short (a few months) history of reading blogs, I definitely stay on reading even when they become pregnant. I was there during the battle to become pregnant, and I like being there during the pregnancy as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm still jealous... :) But because I was already invested in the girl herself, I want to see it through. Plus I'm learning a ton from the pregos - what it's like, and how infertility still is part of your life, even if you're pregnant. I think this will help me when I finally get to the other side! So I would ask you to keep blogging - about whatever is in your mind. You'll always have me reading your thoughts!

Holly said...

*hugs* I can completely understand the mixed feelings and blogger limbo. I hope and pray that you see and hear that heartbeat very soon. (and me too) Congrats again.

Busted Kate said...

I've written this post in my head every time I hoped I might be preggo, and wondered the same thing. Would people stick with me? How do I continue on?

The point is, you don't stop being an Infertile just because you get preggo. That's still a part of your story, and will color your whole pregnancy experience. I want to hear about that.

Perhaps just give a disclaimer in your bio now or something, so folks can make an informed decision. Yes there are the folks who don't want to read about pregnancies. But then there are also Infertiles who enjoy seeing other Infertiles get preggo then have kids, because it gives hope to the rest of us. I'm one of the laters.

Anyways, I'll stick with you no matter what :-)

Michelle said...

I completely agree with Busted Kate. Just because you are pregnant does not mean you didn't experience infertility and are not still experiencing it. It makes you who you are. I have found myself feeling very much the same (of course about being a recurrent miscarriage survivor). But I realized that even though people are excited about this pregnancy I still remember the 4 I lost before... and I will still make sure I am aware of what others might be going through too.

Because I am "out" on my blog I have not yet blogged about my pregnancy - but that time is coming soon. And when I do I will be talking about how pregnancy affects me as an RPL survivor and how being an RPL survivor affects my pregnancy.

What I love about you is that while you are going through something so exciting and happy you are still thinking about the feelings of those "left behind". That is why your followers will stick around.

Malinda said...

still here, still reading and going to keep on doing just that!

Rosie said...

Me too

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