Thursday, May 20, 2010

Lacking Motivation

It seems so strange to actually have nothing to write about. This is so different from when I was TTC. It seems that then I always had something to say!

I'm in between doctor's appointments, my next ultrasound isn't for another 3 weeks, and I don't have a lot of symptoms to report.

I wish that I could say that I've relaxed some, but that wouldn't be entirely true. Any day where I am without symptoms has me worrying again. I guess it's good practice for when we do finally become parents.

My biggest symptom so far has definitely been bloating. By the end of the day I'm so uncomfortable. I'm amazed that no one at work has noticed (or if they have, no one has said anything). I'm getting really good at hiding my belly by always trying to carry something in front of it (a pad of paper, my purse, etc). I do want a baby bump, but it's a little early! Most of my work clothes don't fit and I refuse to buy anything new to wear until after my 12 week scan.

I'm also really tired. Once the fatigue hits, it hits hard! Thankfully our weather has been really topsy turvy lately and a lot of people at work are having trouble sleeping, so no one thinks twice when I casually mention (okay - complain) how tired I am.

Worst of all - I'm so unmotivated at work. Shh! Promise you won't tell! About 2 years ago I realized that it was time to look for something else. But we were in the middle of a boom and, quite frankly, I was making a lot of money. Then the recession hit and jobs are scarce - so while I was passively looking nothing came of it. Well, now I know that I will not be working anymore by the end of the year. It's hard to stay motivated all of the time. I don't want you to think that I'm a slacker - however I'm not going above and beyond at the moment.

Unfortunately all of this also translates into my lack of blog posts. By the time I get home I'm pretty exhausted and will often have a nap. Many nights I don't even turn on the computer. I'm told that my energy level will increase again in a few more weeks. So if you can hang in there, and bear with me for a while, I'm hopeful that I will be posting more often soon.

Thanks to all of you who have sent me e-mails and DM'd me on Twitter. I really appreciate all your stories and encouragement.


Lisa said...

hang in there... hopefully you'll be feeling like you have more energy soon. i hear you on not wanting to buy any clothes until your 12 weeks can - i think i'd be exactly the same way.

Sweet Georgia said...

I hear the 2nd trimester is so much better than the first. That's what I'm holding onto. I know what you mean about lack of symptoms. It is worrisome, but you just have to have faith that everything's ok (easier said than done sometimes).

Alex said...

Good to hear from you! I think it's great you're having a nice boring pregnancy - something I hope for too...

zengirl said...

It's amazing how pregnancy makes its presence known, even at such an early stage! Are you sure the lack of motivation is not preggers brain fog? ;-)

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