I know that I've said this before, and I'm sure that I will say it many more times, but I wish that I could be one of those women who can enjoy their pregnancy and not worry all the time.
Knowing that there was a heartbeat at 7 weeks was a huge relief for us, but now the anxieties are coming back. If I have a day where I feel great, I start to worry that my pregnancy symptoms have disappeared and the baby has died. If a new symptom appears I worry that something is wrong. Is it strange that I prefer to feel like crap than to feel good?
My fears have even invaded my dreams. Last night I dreamed about tornadoes. In my dream I wasn't afraid of the tornadoes (in fact I was recording them on my iPhone), but I don't think that any dream filled with black clouds and tornadoes is a good thing. I'm pretty sure that it means that my emotions are in turmoil.
Yesterday I was seriously considering getting a fetal heart doppler. Hubby doesn't think it's a good idea. His opinion is that if I can't find a heartbeat then I will freak out even more - even though it can be hard to find a heartbeat. He's probably right.
Earlier today I was even thinking that getting into a minor car accident might be a good thing so I could get another ultrasound! (Don't worry - I'm not crazy and I won't do anything that stupid!)
Is there anything that I can do to make the next 3 weeks go by faster?