Friday, July 16, 2010

Stating the Obvious

***WARNING*** This post may turn into a rant.

Do you remember when I posted about the unwanted advice and comments that people are now sharing with me? As predicted, it's getting worse. While I know that people are trying to be helpful (or maybe not), you have to understand that I am a very independent and stubborn woman. I don't like to receive unsolicited advice. I am mature enough to ask for help if I want it.

Earlier this week (while still on holidays) I posted as my Facebook status: It's Monday morning, I'm on vacation, so why am I awake at 7am? One of the comments was "get used to it, it's training" - Um yeah, okay. Like I'm not already up at 5:30 am on weekdays to go to work?

Other comments have included: Your house has a lot of stairs you better get some baby gates - Really? I hadn't noticed that we have stairs in our house. Plus, I also didn't realize that newborns were able to climb stairs.

But by far the worst comment that I have heard (by more than one person) is: Was this planned? - Who the Hell asks someone that? 1 - it's none of your business & 2 - it's none of your business!

I do realize that people are trying to be nice, but I wonder - did they actually enjoy hearing these comments when they were pregnant? Is that why they are regurgitating them to me?

So, to all those people out there full of obvious remarks and useless advice I just have to say:
I am a 37 year old woman, who is financially secure, and owns her own home (in conjunction with the bank). I was not deposited on this planet last week. I am fully aware of what my responsibilities towards my offspring will be. You are not aware of my situation and therefore should not assume that you know everything. If you wish to state the obvious, do not do so in my presence or you risk the wrath of an angry pregnant woman!


Candidly_Andrea said...

Was this planned? Seriously? It never stops blowing my mind at how stupid some people must be to think that THAT is an appropriate question to ask of anyone. WHO does that? ugh.

Anonymous said...

I have gotten the planned question! And I've heard it asked to other pregnant people! Such a strange question to think you can ask someone, but it seems most people think it's okay.

Pregnant Yuppy said...

I've decided that from this point forward, whenever I'm asked that question, I'm going to respond with a "why would that matter?"

Anonymous said...

I think everyone gets the 'was it planned' question! I'm not sure why people decide it's their right to ask that sort of personal question (but I think that pre-kids, I'm sure I must have done it myself thinking it was an innocent question!!). Once I was pregnant I came to hate it.

My other one (after having a boy) was 'you must want a girl?'. That annoyed me so much and I just used to say actually I just want a healthy baby.

As for the baby gates thing...who bothers giving you that sort of advice when you're still pregnant and then your baby won't be moving much for a good 6+ months??

I'm feeling your pain!

Anonymous said...

I've had people ask me if it was planned as well. My BIL asked my husband that in fact. How rude! I also had a friend who knew we were trying for awhile but never told her we had fertility help because I didn't trust her and knew she wouldn't understand, ask me if we used fertility help. My jaw just dropped. No congratulations. Nothing. Just did you use help? Thankfully it was over a text message so I didn't have to respond right away. But I just felt like if I wanted her to know I would have told her. And I felt like her asking me that would be like me asking her what position they used to conceive. She is super fertile too (pregnant TWICE the first month they tried) so I knew she wasn't secretly struggling and just wanting some advice. She was just being nosey.

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