Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Baby Room Progress

My last post was pretty glum and negative (and bitter, don't forget bitter). In order to atone to my readers for that, here's something more light and uplifting.

Voila! Here is the crib that we bought:

Monday, September 27, 2010

Is It The Water?

A few weeks ago I vented my frustrations on how a friend of mine from high school is now pregnant with her 3rd unplanned child with 3 dads. You can read it all again here. Well dear readers, it has happened again.

I just received an e-mail from another friend from high school, who also happens to already be a single mom, announcing her pregnancy (also unplanned with dad #2).

What the Hell is going on? I know that I haven't raised any kids (yet), but I also know that it's not easy. It's a huge commitment! Plus, we're not young anymore, we're 37 years old! I would have thought that both of these women would have learned from their past mistakes and taken the necessary precautions.

I hate admitting that I'm not happy for them, but I'm not. They're already sending me e-mails about wanting to share pregnancy stories, etc and, quite frankly, I'm not interested.

My husband and I tried for years to get pregnant. We lost our first pregnancy and had to spend thousands of dollars to achieve this pregnancy. I know so many of you have struggled longer and had even harder journeys on your path to parenthood. I just can't be happy for these 2 women.

Yes, I'm a little bitter. Yes, that's a little immature, well maybe a lot immature. I just don't understand how the world works. Why some are made to suffer so much while others don't appreciate what they have.

I do want to clarify one thing. I am happy for my friends when they get pregnant especially when I know that they have been trying to get pregnant (whether the pregnancy takes 1 cycle or 25!). But I have a hard time being happy when the pregnancy is unplanned and the woman is not in a place to have a baby (be it because of relationship, money issues, personal issues, whatever).

Maybe the lesson for us Infertiles is this: don't be stable, work a string of crappy jobs, go out and party and drink every single weekend, sleep with lots of men, don't settle down and BOOM - you'll see your BFP!

PS - Thanks for reading. I promise to be less of a grump the next time an unplanned pregnancy bomb lands in my inbox!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Glucose Tolerance Test = Frustration!

On Friday I had my glucose tolerance test booked for 10am. I don't work on Fridays so I've been trying to book all of my appointments and tests for Friday so I can cut down on the amount of work that I miss.

The day started out rushed. I was sleeping really well and I was really cozy so I didn't want to get up. When I finally did I had to rush around to make sure that I got the appointment on time.

I was dreading the test I've heard such horrible things about it. All I knew going in was that they were going to make me drink a really sweet orange drink then make me wait for an hour, and then draw my blood. I'm not a fan of really sweet things so I wasn't looking forward to it.

But it turns out the drink wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. It was still really sweet, and I would never drink it for pleasure, but I was expecting much worse. In actuality, it reminded me of the McDonald's orange drink.

So I drank it down and I waited, and waited. After about a 1/2 hour I started to feel dizzy, thank goodness that passed. At about 45 minutes the Progeny got really active. At about 1 hour 15 minutes I was starting to think that they had forgotten about me. I waited a little longer then I went up to the counter and asked them. "Oh no" she said "you have another 1/2 hour to go". Okay, so maybe my Dr. prefers a 2 hour test, not a 1 hour test.

I go back to my seat and continue reading my book. After a while I check the time. I drank my drink at 9:50 am - it was now 11:20am - that's 2.5 hours! I go up to the counter again. This time they take me back and draw my blood. Finally! I was really getting hungry.

I go about my business for the day (somewhat altered as I had lost an hour and a half). Later, after I get home I get a phone call. It's the lab. She tells me that I have to go back and re-do the test. My first thought was that I had failed the test. This shocked me! But no, she said that it was supposed to be a 1 hour test! Isn't that what I tried to tell them??

She said that I have to go back ASAP to get it done. I said that I would do it the next day (Saturday) and that it would be the most convenient for me to go back to the same lab. No problem, she said that she will fax over the info right away and that I wouldn't need an appointment.

So now it's Saturday morning. I make my way to the lab to re-do this unpleasant, time-sucking test. I find a parking spot and climb the stairs and lo and behold. They're closed for the weekend! Don't you think they could have told me that when they called yesterday??? Now I'll have to take time off work on Monday to go and do this.

Not happy!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Patient Safety FAIL!

Today I was at the medical lab for my gestational diabetes test (more on that in another post) and a few other tests - including a urine test.

I thought that by now I would be a pro and giving a urine sample, but whether it was "baby brain", or a bigger belly, I was sent back to the minors. Basically, I peed all over my hand. I hope that this is the last of the urine tests!

While in the clinic washroom I noticed this on the wall:

Then I looked closer and realized that there's no button there! It's a good thing I peeing on your own hand isn't considered an emergency!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Showing Off My Creative Side

I've never hid the fact that I am freaked out that we will lose this baby. It's hard to think positive when your only other pregnancy experience ended in miscarriage (and I only had 1, so many of you have lost several). Even now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop (but it is getting better).

So I put off buying anything for our baby, and put it off and put it off. I just couldn't imagine rushing out to buy clothing and furniture and then having to look at it everyday if we had another loss.

A few weeks ago I went out with some of the gals from the office to paint pottery. I used to paint pottery pretty regularly a few years ago. I really enjoy it and I find it relaxing, plus it allows me to explore my creative side. But eventually you run out of things to paint. How many mugs does one person really need?

I arrived early to the studio to take a look around and to figure out what I should paint. As I looked at the shelves and at all the plates, mugs, candle sticks, etc. I found a gem. A sock monkey bank! How could I resist? I could finally buy something for the baby's room.

And here it is:

He will eventually reside in the baby's room - for now he sits on the dining room table until our bedroom renos are done. It's handy to have a place for all of our pennies.

We can now check off one more thing on the to-do list for baby: start college fund - check!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Under 100!

I'm in the homestretch! Can you believe it? I don't know if I can (I think I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop). The other day my pregnancy countdown reached 100 days to go!

In honour of this milestone (and viability) we finally went out shopping for the baby. My parents have graciously offered to buy us the crib, but didn't like the one that we had selected (I still think it looks awesome). So we went out to check out a couple of stores. There's this one store in town that's really trendy and has lots of cool baby stuff. They're a bit pricy-er, but the quality is very good too. The sales lady let us know that it could take 10 - 12 weeks to receive some of the items.

10 - 12 weeks?! Yikes! This baby could be here before that! Time to get over our fears and get on it!

We didn't get a crib yet but did end up ordering a kick ass glider/recliner, an infant car seat, and we brought home a stroller and the car seat adapter. I'm starting to think that it's going to cost us as much to get outfitted for this kid as it did to create this kid! But at least we've passed this milestone.

So today I went out and registered for the baby and bought a crib bedding set. The good news is that the stroller and bedding set was on sale. Now I just want to get the baby's room all set up (but can't until the renos are done).

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Today's Ultrasound

I'm back from my unexpected ultrasound (see previous post). The results are mixed. My placenta is indeed very low lying. Right now it is only about 0.5 cm from my cervix. A little too close for comfort if you ask me. What that means is that if I see any spotting or bleeding, I need to go straight to the hospital.

Also, the baby is measuring small (but still within the normal range). The OB wants to do 2 more ultrasounds to monitor my progress. The next one in 2 weeks, and another one in 4 weeks. He's hopeful that as the baby and the uterus grow that the placenta will move away from the cervix. If the placenta does not move I will most likely be labelled as "high risk" and will have to eventually go on bed rest.

The good news is, other than being a little on the small size, the baby is doing great. The heartbeat is strong and the baby is very active.

So they discharged me and said to take it easy. Nothing strenuous (i.e. no lifting and no sex). But better safe than sorry.

My plan is to take life easy and to ignore a lot of the crap that comes my way (read: work). I'll be talking to my managers tomorrow to see what we can do at work to make things easier, and there will be no more quick stops at the grocery store on my way home from work.

It's no surprise that the baby is small. I haven't quite gained 10 pounds yet. I've been eating a lot of fruits and veggies and don't really have the appetite for meats. I will do my best to pack on the pounds in the next 2 weeks and hope that the baby absorbs most of it.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

First Visit to L&D

My worst fears started to come true last night. Around 10 pm I started to feel a little wet "down there". While the one side of my brain was worrying, the rational side kept saying "relax, it's just some discharge, perfectly normal". Only it wasn't. I was bleeding.

In about 2 minutes flat I peed, changed into jeans, grabbed my purse, told Hubby to put his jeans on, fed the cats and was out the door.

At my 18 week anatomy ultrasound my uterus was really contracted (a side effect of holding a bladder full of pee for a long time). It wouldn't relax and the tech couldn't get a clear shot of my placenta. She said that it was awfully close to my cervix, but couldn't be sure of its exact location. I was told by my Dr. to go straight to the hospital, do not stop and pass GO, if I experienced any bleeding at all.

So that's what we did last night. First let me say that babies must really like to screw with long weekends. Labour & Delivery (L&D) was full up - but they did manage to find me a bed. By then the bleeding was slowing down and thankfully I wasn't cramping at all.

I was of course panicked. Not in a freaking out in tears kind of way, but rather in an eerie calm sort of way (except for my shaking hands). The nurse went to put me on the monitor and had some trouble finding the Progeny's heartbeat. I was sure that it was all over. But she found it! And it was strong and steady. I was on the monitor for about an hour. He was a superstar. Lots of movement and the heartbeat stayed steady.

They wanted to do an ultrasound rather than a pelvic exam due to the potential risk of placenta previa, but there was no way to have a complete diagnostic scan done until the morning. Since they were really busy they debated keeping until morning or sending me home. The Doctor on call finally decided to take a peek at my cervix first. She did and it looked good.

Before sending me home she gave me a prescription for a second inhaler in hopes that will help with my allergic cough that I have developed in the past 2 weeks. Her theory is that I burst a blood vessel when I was coughing.

This morning I spoke with the nurse. The doctors have decided to wait until Tuesday for my ultrasound (again, most likely due to the long weekend). Until then, my butt will either be on the couch or in bed. Which sucks, but better safe than sorry.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Once An Infertile, Always An Infertile

This is the post where you all get to see what a small person I am. Earlier today I got an e-mail from a friend that I've known since high school. She announced that she's 20 weeks pregnant.

Of course this is good news, I know that this is good news. When isn't a baby good news? Instead I got sad and even a little angry.

You see this will be her 3rd child. Each of her children was conceived as an "oops", and each child has a different father. She didn't have to pay close to $10,000 just to get pregnant.

I've been together with Hubby since before she got pregnant with her first. We did the responsible thing and finished our schooling, got jobs, got married, and bought a house long before we ever started to TTC. And we tried (oh lord how we tried) to get pregnant. I'm not saying that we will be better parents or that we will have more love for our child than she will, but we certainly know which blessings to count.

I wonder if she were to tell me that she struggled to conceive this time if I would be happier for her?

My Chart

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