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Saturday, August 20, 2011

The End of the Breast



Since discovering that I am starving my child (a self-diagnosis), The Babe has been getting formula supplement in addition to solids and breast feeding.  I'm feeling mixed emotions about this.  I'm happy that he's getting the nourishment that he needs.  I'm sad that I can no longer supply that nourishment.  

The strange thing is that I actually had never planned to breast feed at all.  The intellectual part of me knows that "breast is best", the physical part of me would cringe at the thought of it.  Hubby really wanted me to breast feed (and of course the doctors pushed it as well).  I agreed to give it a try, Hubby agreed that if I was not happy with it, then I could stop.  It turns out the only problem that I had was a supply issue.  It took 5 (yes, 5) days for my milk to come in, and I was always worried that I never had enough.

From the moment he was born The Babe had a great latch.  Breast feeding didn't feel bad at all.  It was (and still is) a special time for us to bond.  I still nurse him to sleep every night.  

But as good as it is, there can be some drawbacks as well.  Whenever I would leave the Babe with Hubby to go run errands or something, I always had to watch the clock.  I had to be back to feed him.  Since I never had a ton of supply that also meant that I rarely had to pump; not pumping means no expressed milk to freeze.

I never had a plan on how long I would breast feed.  Some moms say 3 months, others 6, others longer.  I know that I was not going to be one of those moms who lets their kid lift up their shirt.  I said that as soon as I got bit, it was over.  I figured if we lasted 6 months that was great.  

Now that I've begun to supplement it seems to be the Babe's favourite new food.  Just last week his favourite foods were sweet potato puffs and pears.  Now he will ignore those and squeal with delight when he sees a bottle.  The past 2 days he's rarely eaten any solids at all. (I'm not worried about that, I know he's getting all of the nutrients that he needs).

I'm hoping this week to establish a better routine around the bottle.  Whether that be to nurse then supplement after or to nurse one feeding and supplement the next.  I'm sure we'll figure something out.  I'm not planning to totally give up on nursing.  I'm not ready to give up our special time together just yet.

2 comments:

Three Cats and a Baby said...

Big changes. That must be hard. I'll admit I am jealous you got to experience that. Although our bottle feedings really were a way of us being close too. And I still hold him while giving him his bottles so we can snuggle close, instead of him holding his own. I really will miss feeding him bottles for that reason. It will be a hard transition.

Alex said...

I'm sure it is a tough transition, but it sounds like you have a great attitude about it. Good luck in transitioning!

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