Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Best Laid Plans...

If there's one thing I've learned from being an Infertile it's that things don't always go according to "plan". The "plan" was to have timed intercourse and get pregnant. The "plan" was never meant to take 4 years, a miscarriage, and IVF treatments.

I think it's because of this that I don't have any plans about parenting. I'm kind of just "winging it".

When I was pregnant I never came up with a theme for the nursery. During our prenatal classes I never wrote up a birth plan either. Other than planning to cloth diaper, we're making it up as we go along.

Now I'm also a realist and a pragmatist. Being Infertile gives you lots of time to read up on things. I didn't do a theme in Nathan's room because I didn't know what he'd be into. I didn't want to go crazy with one thing (eg Sesame Street) only to have him hate that but be really into dinosaurs or something. We can always decorate later.

I didn't do up a birth plan because I can't think of one person that I know, whose birth went according to plan. So why set myself up for disappointment? This way I had no preconceived expectations and I just let whatever had to happen, happen.

What prompted this post was a post by a group that I follow on Facebook about car seat safety. Someone recently posted this comment about extended rear facing: "when my daughter was a baby I thought I had to turn her at 12 months & 20 pounds. I'm so glad that I learned the truth when she was still a baby and I still have her rear facing at 3 years 8 months".

I'm not critiquing or criticizing, or mocking her in any way, I'm simply surprised that anyone thought in advance about when they would turn their child from rear facing to forward facing. I never even looked into it, at all. I can't remember if I learned via Facebook, the public health nurse, or from the instruction manual. All I know is that the minimum requirements, where I live, to turn your child is that s/he must be 1 year old, walking, and 22 pounds. I don't advocate either way as long as the minimum requirements have been met.

I suppose I should start to plan a bit more in our son's life. Maybe we should sign him up for some classes this fall or something. But what? Swimming? Gym? Kinder Musik? I think I prefer winging it!

- Posted from my iPhone


Alex said...

I'm a total planner. I read books, decide what I'm going to do ages in advance, and then get disappointed. I'm really trying to lose some of this, as my 7 months of parenting have taught me that I can't always plan my way through it... I like your way much better!!!

And seriously, your FB friend is crazy. Almost 4 years of rear facing? Bizarre... :)

Angela said...

We still don't have Emora's room repainted because she doesn't have definite color preferences like the other two. I think we've worked out multicolor- green walls and blue ceiling with clouds and butterflies on the walls so she can have every color! I think it's good to plan at times, but also to be flexible. Kids change even once they fall into something they like, it may not stay that way.

Memoirs of Me & Mine said...

I like to plan things. But with 4 kids, it doesn't usually work out that way!

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