Nathan turned 2 in December. Most of the moms in my online playroom are now either planning for another, or have already had a second (one is already pregnant with #3). It seems that the only ones who aren't planning another are those who already have more than one, and me.
A part of me is sad that Nathan will not be a big brother, I think he would be great with a little brother, but the reality is that he will be an only child. There are too many reasons to not, compared to only a couple to have another
#1 - I will be 40 next month. Yes, there is a history on both sides of my family for late in life babies (my grandma had my uncle at 41, my great - grandmother had all 3 of her kids after 40). However, my age does not make conception easy.
#2 - We would very likely have to use ART again. Our last experience with IVF was not ideal. We have an amazing son, but no leftover embryos. Plus, the treatments were very hard on my body. Knowing all of this, there's no guarantee that it would even work. I don't have any extra money let alone e $8,000 - $20,000+ that it would cost.
#3 - Money aside, TTC is emotionally very hard. What kind of mom would I be to Nathan if I was on the TTC roller coaster? We have so little time together as it is that I want it to be meaningful.
#4 - So lets's go back to money, kids are expensive. We're barely scraping by now. Daycare costs are killing us. We pay $1200 a month for child care alone, add to that the other general costs (clothing, etc) and we are broke. There's no way that we can afford child care for another child. Nor can one of us afford to stay home.
#5 - Possible loss. There's no way to know if our miscarriage was a one time thing.
And there you have it, a very pragmatic approach to not TTC. Am I convincing you, or me?
I'm definitely okay with being "one & done" but that doesn't mean that pregnancy announcements don't still hurt. It's funny, I always thought that once you conquered infertility that feeling would go away. It doesn't
Not to be a downer, please let me share with you a photo of my awesome dude & his amazing mom:
- Posted from my iPad