I recently came across my pregnancy journal from 2008. I wonder if perhaps I knew that it would not come to be as I wrote in it in pencil. I found my journal the other day hidden amongst other pregnancy books that I had put aside. For some reason I never blogged my thoughts at the time. I think it's worthwhile to share. Thank you for reading.
March 4, 2008: BFP!
Just found out I was pregnant on March 4th. All week I couldn't concentrate on anything else! My mind has been racing. We've decided not to tell anyone for the first few months. It's harder to calm a racing mind when you can't talk to anyone!
Not feeling sick (thank god!). Breasts are very sore and I pee a lot. I've been weaning myself off caffeine too. I thought that pregnancy was supposed to make you tired - I have insomnia!
March 10, 2008 - Week 6
Felt a tiny bit nauseous (let's hope that's as far as it goes). By the end of the day my lower back is killing me!
March 12, 2008
Other than my lower back being really sore, I feel great. So good in fact that I was worried about the pregnancy. I guess that knowing how sick Mom was when she was pregnant, I expected to be the same. I hope that I feel this good the whole time.
March 15, 2008
I lost 2 pounds!
March 22, 2008 - Week 7
Still no weight gain but I find most pants uncomfortable to wear unless I undo the top button. No signs of pregnancy either. I haven't been sick (thank goodness) at all. I am still experiencing some uncomfortable cramping - mostly in the evenings - but otherwise all is well.
Happy 35th (yikes) Birthday to me.
March 28, 2008 - Week 8
Doctor appointment. Dr. said not to worry about the lack of morning sickness. She will check my HCG levels to ease my mind.
March 29, 2008
Lost 2 pounds again.
April 5, 20808 - Week 9
Still no symptoms. Have not heard from the Dr. about my HCG tests. I guess no news is good news.
April 10, 2008 - Week 10
Went to the ER due to bleeding. Had an u/s - fetal development was only 6w4d and no heartbeat. Sent me home with pain killers and an appointment at the early pregnancy loss clinic for tomorrow.
April 11, 2008
Went through horrible pains and passed the sac. Being send for u/s on Monday to confirm D&C not needed.
~ End of Journal ~
Memorial Tattoo. My Angel is always with me.